We all can agree that motherhood is hard; it is so worthwhile and fulfilling, but we are often
exhausted both physically and mentally. We often feel as if we are running on empty, that we
are being beaten down by our day-to-day worries and responsibilities. We can’t pour from an
empty cup. If your cup is full your kids’ cups will be full too. As the flight attendants always say,
“Please place the mask over your own mouth and nose before assisting others.” Basically, we
need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of the ones we love most. I believe that the
only way to be fulfilled as a mom is by investing in YOU!
After the birth of my second, in the midst of the pandemic, I felt lost and overwhelmed. I didn’t
know who I was outside of being a mom. I kept looking at my responsibilities- husband, kids,
work, family, a clean home, healthy meals, etc. and thinking that there was no room for me. I
didn’t want to just survive this stage of motherhood, I wanted to thrive! Below are five strategies
that helped me find myself again, becoming a better, happier mom in the process.
Get Rid of the Mom Guilt
Don’t be afraid to hire a sitter, drop your kids off with grandma, a friend, or leave them with your
significant other. Cut yourself some slack, mom. Some days you will get your kids fast food
for dinner or won’t read them a bedtime story. Let it go. Let them watch tv so you can read a
book, call a friend, or make dinner in peace. Put the kids to bed early to give yourself a few
extra minutes of alone time. Your kids won’t remember skipping bath night, but they will
remember a happy mom. If you’re a working mom like me, you may feel as if all your time while
not working should be spent with your kids. But honestly, as much as we love our kids and
enjoy spending time with them, being a mom is a full-time job all on its own. Employees can
take time off so we should also take time off from the full-time job that is motherhood.
Create a Vision Board or List
Who do you want to be outside of motherhood? Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, or 20
years? What did you enjoy doing before you had kids? Think about all of the things you wanted
to do before you were a mom. Backpacking across Europe might have to wait till your kids are
older, but use your wish list to create smaller goals. Maybe join a local hiking club and take an
afternoon hike once a month. I have a friend who was inspired by my own journey and has
decided to take piano lessons. She has always wanted to learn how to play the piano and has
decided that this is something she can do, even as a mom of two little ones. My vision board is
a mix of things I want to learn or accomplish. I want to learn to scuba dive and sail, but I also
want to grow my small business, travel to all 50 states, and climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Some of the
things on my vision board I have accomplished in the past year, some are a work in progress,
and some I am planning for in the future and looking forward to accomplishing. What does your
vision board look like?
Make an Effort to Make Time for Yourself
I know; this is hard. Most of us are tired of the day-to-day grind of motherhood. We are all trying
to juggle kids, homes, doctor's appointments, meals, jobs, and more. But finding a way to break
up the monotony and invest in the things we enjoy is important. Want to read more? Listen to a
book online while in the car or making dinner. Want to spend time with the gals? Get together
with friends for wine and cards once the kids are in bed. Make a conscious, deliberate effort to
invest in making time to do what you love and enjoy. Even if you are tired or it's cold and rainy,
push yourself to make time for yourself. You’ll thank yourself later.
Include Your Kids
Making time for yourself is essential, but you can always include your kids in doing the things
you enjoy. It may take some creativity, but your children will learn more about you and it is a
good way to bond with your kids. Strap the kids in the stroller and start a walking club. Start a
book club for moms and let the kids play while discussing the book. Volunteer with your kids to
pick up trash at the local park. Garden with your kids. Think about what you love to do or what
you want to try, and find a way you can include your kids. I really want to learn to sail. We plan
to take sailing lessons together in a few years. In the meantime, we got a small boat so we can
learn water safety and boating rules as a family.
Find Your Tribe
Being a mom can feel very isolating. Investing in meaningful relationships can be hard,
especially as we are often stretched so thin with the weight of our responsibilities. Find your
people, check in with each other, share your mom fails, laugh together, cry together, support
each other. You aren’t alone in this. Join a mom group. I am a member of the Severna Park
MOPS group and I can’t imagine parenting without the support of friends I have made there.
There are fitness groups for moms, hiking groups for families. If you don’t see a group that fits
your interest, create one. And it doesn’t need to be a group exclusive to moms. Find a group of
people that have a similar interest as you, even if it has nothing to do with motherhood. I’m a
member of the DAR, simply because I enjoy history, even though that has nothing to do with my
day-to-day life as a mom.
No matter how you proceed, don’t sacrifice the effort to be YOU even while navigating through
the journey of motherhood. You got this, mama!
Chelsea is a mother of two young boys, wife of a firefighter, and a ‘mompreneur’- running her
business as an Anne Arundel area REALTOR. She is an active member of her community, serving
on the Anne Arundel Commission on Disability Issues, the Severna Park MOPS Steering
Committee, and a member of the DAR. In her free time, Chelsea enjoys spending time
exploring small towns, boating with her family, making soup, and playing cards.
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